Wednesday, May 6, 2015

On Being A House Wife

They say getting married shows you how selfish you really can be. I suppose that's true but over the past nearly three years, I'd say Kevin and I have just really gone with the flow and done what we needed to do for our marriage and our home. We trade off who does chores/etc and neither of us really complains. I think in general, we're both interested in doing what's best for the other, and our marriage.

When I had the opportunity to live in Denmark with him for two weeks and just be his wife, I learned how hard it can be to really practice selflessness.

I wanted to go out and explore all day, and honestly it is what I mostly did and he wanted me to-after all we were in another country for a brief amount of time, but when I would get back to the apartment, the last thing I wanted to do was tidy up or do dishes. And there wasn't a lot of that to be done! We were living in a little three room place- kitchen, bathroom, bedroom. In the mornings when he would get up for work, all I wanted to do was sleep more, maybe it was jet lag at first but over time that excuse was invalid, I man oh man it was so hard to get up some mornings! And here's the kicker, he was getting up at 7am! That's a whole two hours later than the time we typically get up at here at home. And yes, we were going to bed at the same time, if not earlier most nights. And making dinner? I tell ya, I usually tried not to have to do it.  Selfishness and lazyness was oozing out of me and I didn't like watching it.

When you're a stay at home mother you have many more responsibilities and there's a child waiting on you. That role is incredibly difficult, though rewarding, something I know, not from experience but of stories I've heard/read from others But being a house wife? I thought it would be so easy. It proved to be a heck of a lot harder than I thought. Yes, my husband is fully capable of doing all the home things himself, but when my only job was simply to be his supportive wife then it's I who should be doing those things. And goodness, was it hard to deny selfishness and choose to serve him and the little home we were blessed to be staying in.

Of course, our situation in Denmark was pretty different than I imagine if we practiced this life style at home in Oklahoma but the lesson was still a valuable one to learn and I'm trying to be even more mindful of things I could do to deny selfishness/lazyness in our day to day life at home.

So to you house wives out there, bravo to you! You are incredible. Also, while I used to think you had one of the easiest jobs, I know now that's not true, however, I'm still incredibly jealous. I loved learning what it looked, even if temporarily, to be a house wife. I think the role of wife and mother was something I'm fully meant to live out. For now, I'm learning what it looks like to be more house-wife like while being a working wife. We shall see what God has in store down the road for this family.

Following our time in Copenhagen?
one-Arriving in Copenhagen: The first bike ride
two-A Sunday together: Discovering Nyhavn, a church, Amalienborg, and more
three-Monday & Tuesday: my first days while Kevin is at work. Exploring the city by a run, seeing historical sites, and some new architecture. 
four-The little home we lived in
five-Wednesday & Thursday & Friday: More exploration of the city
six- The story behind the Pacifier trees of Copenhagen
seven- our 27 hour trip to PARIS!
eight-A preview of our portrait session with the Eiffel Tower!
nine- Changing of the guards, ice cream, The Royal Library...
ten-Getting ice cream, and checking out the Royal library
eleven- My final days of exploring


  1. being a house-wife really was hard sometimes when we lived in Cologne and it was a sort of honeymoon feel for 4 months, but when we moved and 'real life' set in, it got a little easier since routine was more established - I'm glad to have things outside of home to do now though!

  2. We tend to trade off responsibilities like you and Kevin. The hardest part is the routine—if I sleep in or mess around on the computer before hitting the shower and tackling the dishes, my morning productivity is cut in half. Since I work from home half the time, I find it hard to balance the two—either I just feel like doing housework and not "work-work" or I'll sit in the middle of a pile of laundry and not even look up from my computer.
    I look forward to my full time house-wife days, but like any other job there are disciplines that need to be established to get anything done!

  3. Definitely a great lesson on being selfless!

  4. oh my gosh, that would be amazing to be there for 2 whole weeks! and I totally know what you mean, I am recently married and sometimes I just want to be selfish. We both work so much and go to school so the cleaning gets put on the back burner. I would love to be a housewife sometimes and just clean and have a sparkling house for my husband to come home to but I also know this time in our lives is short and being a housewife and mother will come soon. can't wait :)
    xo, Candace | Lovely Little Rants


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