Monday, March 2, 2015

The Love Story: Clarity

Yesterday was the first of March. My littlest sister turned 16. SIXTEEEN! Umm...what?! I can't even believe it. Yesterday,also marks 2 years and 9 months into marriage...even closer to 3 years. WOW.

Happiest of Birthdays to my littlest sister! You aren't so little anymore. In fact you are the most beautiful young lady. You are very much you're own person. Always believe in the amazing Creator who made you and trust in His guidance. Things don't always make sense and they're certainly never fair but your story is a gift the Lord has given you. Let your story be beautiful by seeing God's hand in it and sharing it with people you meet. Happy Birthday "Cheyna Boo (Cheyanne Blue)!" I love you!

This is a series about our love story that I've been carrying on for far too long. If you're new, check out all the previous posts here and bear with me as I attempt to make a sprint to the finish line aka the wedding day.

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"Home" in Florida, I began working to earn some cash. If I was going to get married in a year or so, I was going to need some cash to make it happen. My mom helped me get set up to work at BCBG inside of Dillards during the break. I learned customer service from the fashion side of business. I worked a cash register for the first time ever and actually really came to enjoy the job.

I was constantly thinking of Kevin. We texted always and skyped as much as possible. My sisters, still hadn't met him, would budge in our video chat time and share stories that would make me blush. I teasingly fought them to leave and secretly loved every moment Kevin got to see our interactions. My prayers were constantly asking the Lord for clarity on our relationship. My heart was totally all in but the thought of marriage was giving me stomach aches. I love my mom and dad but a divorce is not an option for me,


Then in the middle of my prayer on one of my last nights I knew. I realized. God gave me the clearest answer. Yes, Kevin was the man I would marry, for life. I freaked out even more. Getting married outside of college wasn't in my plans. I wanted to live in a little apartment and get my dog and live on my own for a bit. I was going to make a cute little place where things would stay where I put them. Getting married...that just wasn't in my plans.

I couldn't shake it though. I knew what the Lord was revealing to me was true. I had asked Him for clarity and He'd given it to me.

Kevin and I had a weekend of togetherness planned before classes began again. I planned on waiting to tell him until we were together again. My heart was racing with this new revelation. All my life, I'd dreamed of meeting the man I'd married. I was the queen of daydreams. Being a wife, having a husband, falling in love...they were among my biggest wishes. Prayers, I'd been praying since I was a young teenager. I couldn't believe at twenty-one I was hearing the Lord speak to me about my husband. I was dating the man I was going to marry.

I called Kevin on my cell phone after my last day of working at BCBG, I was exhausted but so happy to be back in the arms of my sweet man soon. My heart beat wildly in my chest as I thought about what the Lord had spoken to me as we were on the phone. I struggled to keep my mind on the conversation we were having. I couldn't take it anymore. "Kevin? I have something I want to tell you," came out of my mouth. "Well I've been praying a lot lately about us, and about where God is leading us. The other day I felt Him give me such clarity. I know now..." these words came slowly and heart-pumpingly out of me. I was so excited and nervous, I felt near tears and laughter. How would he react? Should I really be the firs to say something like this?  I couldn't wait, I had to say it.

"Well I just feel like the Lord has told me that you're the man I'm going to marry."
Silence.
Then, "I was going to wait till I saw you but since you've brought it up. Me too. I've been praying the same thing."
I don't even know what the rest of our conversation was about. I smiled ear to ear and barely slept that night. I was going to marry this man.

It was the first time God had spoken to us both so clearly, individually. We both knew.
Now I couldn't wait to get back to him even more.


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