Friday, October 11, 2013

Here it is.

I've thought so many times how I would write this post. I thought about it in the shower, at work, while I drove, on my runs and even as I cleaned. I wanted to write this when my heart was in the right place about it. I wanted to write it when I had real answers. I wanted to write it when it didn't hurt as much. I wanted to write it when I could do so in a way that glorified the Lord, who has blessed this little thing I call my life, in extraordinary ways.

Not too long ago, shortly before I wrote this post about upcoming changes, wow that was over a month ago, I found out that I would quite possibly be losing my job. It was not over something I had done, not over how I was as an employee, it was a strange and wrong reason for me potentially being let go but it was there nonetheless. I held myself together in that meeting with my director, got in my car and called Kevin to see if he would be able to come home any sooner, and busted into tears as I hung up. Big, hot, tears rolled down my cheeks constantly as I prayed aloud and drove.

The idea of my losing my job wasn't foreign to me, it had been a rumor since March of this year. A thought that wandered into my mind every now and then and loomed there for a while but something I was able to put away and rest in the peace of God. For He knows the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11). As the truth finally came out it hurt deeply but I knew the Lord still had me. As a pastor once taught us at church, God sees you, God loves you, God has you. Through the past six months I rested in that confidence, the Lord has me. He has never, ever let me fall and not come back around to rescue me, not once. I wrote this post once as a reminder to myself, in fact, of that truth.

The hardest part of it all isn't the job, no it was never really about the job (although, no one wants to be told they are being let go and of course I need an income #collegeloans), it's about the people I'm leaving. The people who have in many ways become my family. I could get extremely sappy about this but then this post would be ridiculously long...these people have not only helped me grow and learn the professional field of interior design but they've been life coaches, people who've prayed for me, people who've cheered with me and people whom I grown to love. It hurts to realize, I won't see those people that the Lord has blessed me with, every day any more. They'll always be friends of course, but they won't be within shouting distance any more. That brings tears to my eyes.

My tears came to halt that day as I proceeded to go into the grocery store on my way home. And then there was peace. Peace brought forth only from my Lord. I purchased my items and went home to tidy up and make my bean dip for small group cook out that night. My sweet friend, and former intern, popped by for a final farewell (she was about to move out of state) and to give Paisley one last chance to play with her bestie. She gave me a gift that I didn't open until Kevin got home. Inside was a beautiful scarf, in my favorite color, and a sweet frame containing this picture. Tears starting swelling in my eyes as I looked at the picture and then proceeded to give Kevin the details of my afternoon. We both cried.

It's a funny thing losing a job, well at least for me. Those blessed friendships in my office became something so much more real. I never knew how much those people cared for me as I did for them. Several phone calls by my director were made on my behalf to local firms. He chose ones specifically that treated their employees honorably and were directed from Christian leadership. Others in my office voluntarily gave their references to these same offices. The plethora of support overwhelms my heart even still. God is good isn't He? When I felt lost and hurt, He brought joy and direction.

In the course of the past month I've prayed constantly for direction and clarity. The Lord oh so slowly revealed those things but constantly gave me peace. Peace that losing my job was okay. Not only is it okay but it's what needed to happen. It's what God allowed to happen for His given reasons. He gave me peace that day I cried on the way home and He's given me peace on it every day since. I didn't know the plans He had but I knew I had an overwhelming sense of peace, that most assuredly wasn't coming from within me.

Going to interviews wasn't something I had really any experience in.  I mean I'd interviewed a few times before but not anything of a professional role. I interviewed for my current office as an intern and got the job, moving into a full timer was a breeze. Interviewing for an interior designer position at companies I didn't even know whether they were looking to hire was terrifying. I definitely stumbled, and I didn't have the best answers always but even in those moments I had peace. Peace from the Lord, not of my own abilities.
I've had my doubts about this process almost daily. Why would anyone really like me? Would I actually know as much as I think I do? What if I let the people who hire me down? What if I don't live up to the fabulous reviews my coworkers had given me? What if I don't fit in? What if I don't live up to their expectations? My husband reminded me that I am a child of God and my worth isn't in people and then he wrote me this:
You are extraordinary and very talented and your people skills are off the charts!
You will be a valued and loved designer wherever you go!
 Because you have integrity and you're a hard worker and you're creative and you're a joy to be around.
Way to make a girl cry husby! Thankfully, I have a husband who lifts me up through words given to him by the Lord. My worth is in my loving Father. And my joy is in Him. And my abilities are because of His gifting me. I have confidence in this. 

In every moment of big decisions in life it seems that the Lord has given me a song to pray through. When I was choosing a college I rested in the words of this song. As I've worked through this change of jobs I've found solace in the song I've enclosed below. I love when the Lord speaks through songs to me and gives me peace and joy through songs. I'm in now way musically inclined but songs have always given me great insight to the way the Lord loves and cares for us.

So after all this, the Lord has given me clarity and it with true joy, yet some fear, and complete gratefulness that I am announcing, in a few weeks (after I pass, crossing fingers, part one of the NCIDQ) I will begin a new adventure in my life as a professional interior designer at MA+ Archicture in Oklahoma City. 

Yep, me... I am going to be an interior designer at a firm! It's pretty much blowing my mind for a number of reasons. First, this firm is incredible and has glowing reviews on how the handle projects and interact with people (definitely something I would want to be associated with). Second, I know one of the architect's pretty well as his wife works with me at OU ( I wrote about their incredible wedding here) and one of the partners knows a family from my church very well (yall I call the lady of this said family my Norman mom, she kept my wedding dress at her home). Third, it's an architecture FIRM! Me at a firm?! I can't even believe it... I have been pretty much terrified of working at a firm. That might seem silly but the idea I was given about how firms work, while I was in school,  was ridiculously skewed and left me in near tears at the thought...of course until over the past few months. 

The Lord truly is entertaining, and if you don't think so just take a look at your life. I mean I could burst into laughter right now, what?! I applied for jobs over two weeks and was offered 3 positions!  I mean, what is that?! Incredible,  that's what. Incredible, ridiculous, and mind blowing.. all because of God.

So that's it. The change that was coming. The change that is coming and is almost here.
God is good, all the time.
Simply that.

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  1. Congratulations! It's encouraging to see how He has provided for you! This is exciting - can't wait to see your projects to come.

  2. Oh, that would be hard to go through such a big change like that when it really wasn't what you wanted, but God has used this time for good in your life, and that's exciting! I hope that this new job will be a great blessing to you!

  3. I'm so glad that everything worked out in the end. Congratulations on your new job and good luck on your NCIDQ (no idea what that stands for, but I'm assuming it's a major test)! :)

  4. Wonderfully written! You're going to rock that test. I have no doubt that your trust in the Lord led you to the right job and you'll love it. So happy for you!!! :D

  5. Great post and congratulations on the new job! :)

  6. Wow! I love hearing how God works things out for His glory :) Congrats on your new job! Very exciting :)

  7. I am SO SO happy for you! It sounds like this might even be a better fit for you than before. Gah, leaving a job is so hard, but the great thing is that you are trusting the Lord's faithfulness and He provided (of course!). SO happy for you, Veronica!

  8. There are not enough words to express my excitement for you! Not too long ago I was in your exact shoes and thankfully I can say that the Lord worked in ways that only He can and he too put me in an amazing firm! It is both exciting and intimidating to go to work for an actual firm, but you will learn more there than you ever could where you are now! Cannot wait to hear all about your new position and will be praying for you through this transition!

  9. Great post about trusting in the Lord and His plans for us! Congratulations on the job, how exciting! Good luck in your new adventure, I'm sure you will do great!

  10. Congratulations! Finally, the cat out the bag... I'm so sorry about your previous job and what happened there, but WHAT a testimony you have, and through a trial God is certainly glorified. You've got this, favour and promotion come from the Lord!

  11. This is a beautiful post. I love how you wrote this post glorifying and trusting in God even though what you had gone through was hard. He brings beauty out of ashes.


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