Monday, August 26, 2013

Life&Love: Blessed Friendship

This is a post series that I'm writing about Kevin and I's love story, read about why and how I'm doing this, as well as all the prior posts under the Life&Love page.
All previous posts here.
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I spent my Easter weekend practically alone in the dorm tower slaving over a project I wished would disappear and finish itself. What started out as my most favorite project, was easing into the worst project I'd worked on so far.

Monday brought me renewed faith that the Lord had be in His hands as I read in my devo for the day, "I am the light o the world, whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life" John 8:12. Monday also brought friends back to campus, several of them coming to visit me in the study room on my dorm floor that I'd been barricading myself in, and blocking others from using. The project would be done and turned in Thursday, but before then I had two exams that I absolutely had to study for. My stress was at an all time high and I was losing it, tears were on the brink of spilling out almost constantly. The end of the week would be bring fun and joy with the Phi Lamb formal, and Big Event (OU's service project day), but the days before these fun  events were going to be long.


Without friends and the Lord, I would never have made it though those next few days. It was friends in interior design that helped me study for the first exam, and friends from the BSU that helped me study for the second exam. It was friends from interior design that stayed up with me and worked side by side with me in the late crazy hours of the night. It was God's strength that gave me endurance to keep going and keep working hard.

It was Wednesday, and my second exam of the week was finally over, I could finally breathe but only just for a second. I took a small dinner break and drove myself to Journey Church to watch some kiddos before returning back to the dreaded project. Hearing the worship from student Journey echo through the hallways encouraged my spirit. Wednesday night always brought four hours of work but there was no such work lovelier and more filling than holding a sweet baby in my arms and strolling up and down the hallway. It was hard to give those hours over to something other than the project but the Lord blessed me with that time.

I returned to my dark dorm room, dropped my purse down, got my phone charger, laptop, and some water and dragged my feet down the study room. I wonder how crazy these hall mates think I am,  I thought as I opened the glass door that I had marked with a paper begging custodial and hall mates to please leave the room as is and I'll clean on Thursday evening. Back to work I went, but not before tuning my laptop to the online stream of my favorite Christian radio station from back home.
(yes this is THE project, and that is MY work)
I lost track of time completely, but at some point I finally broke down and asked my friend to come help me, (the only real friend I'd known from home). Being an architecture major herself, she knew quite well the stress I was under and didn't even hesitate. A couple friends, including Kevin, offered me their print credit so I could print pages off for my presentation board for free. They rushed down to the computer lab at some unknown time of the night with me to log in and print things for me. I left them, went up to the study room and got back to work. I was in go-go-go mode now, there was no stopping for anything.

My friend from home helped me cut out the various images for presentation boards and mount them to the foam core. She stayed late into the night with me before deciding to turn in and get some rest. I glanced out the window into the dark night for a split second, a friend of mine in interior design was in the same type of room at the dorm tower across from myself...were were both cutting it SO close, and we both knew there would be no sleeping for us that night.


I remember the sun starting to shine and my panic beginning to take residence in my whole being. I was now just hours away from having to complete and turn in, and present this project. Breakfast was something I was going to have time for and I was most definitely skipping my morning classes. Kevin began messaging me asking me if I was doing okay, knowing full well that I'd probably stayed up the whole night. My eyes were hurting and I told him I was worried about finishing. He offered to bring me lunch and anything else I needed as he was leaving his morning class...food, food sounded delightful!

By the time he arrived with my custom lunch order in hand I was running around like a crazy lady, slapping things onto my boards, longing for my time, and depressed over the parts of the project that definitely showed my last minute effort. Looking at him standing there with my lunch in his hand was such an encouraging and happy state. How blessed I was!

My Houston friend was there again, helping me throw everything together. She worked on things as I went back to my room to get dressed for the presentation, desperately trying to cover up my weariness with make-up and my lack of a shower with body spray. I may not feel put together but I had to at least try and look it. With her help, we got my things to the car and she drove as I assembled my project binder, another last minute attempt to really finish this project. Fact: I was already late to presentations.

a site that brought me a smile during the week

That presentation session was one I will never forget. I went to the wrong room at first, since I was late I didn't know what was going on. Then I was put at the end of the list, again because I was late. A girl I did not yet know but would one day call a best friend, broke down in tears during her presentation. My other last minute friend messaged me so we could somewhat bond over our feelings of failure. My presentation was weak and my boards were sad. My instructor saw my brokenness and gave me constructive but also encouraging critique.

I returned to my room around 6pm and fell onto my bed, oh bed...where had you been?! My friends asked me to dinner but I declined, I had to clean that room and I absolutely had to get myself to bed. I changed into comfortable clothes and pulled everything out of that stupid study room I'd spent way too many hours in and flat out dropped it onto the floor of my dorm room. I had zero energy left. I got my take-out comfort food from the Cate restaurants back into my room and dialed my mom, and proceeded to cry.

Then I slept for 15 hours straight, waking up to a 2pm alarm...I could have slept longer.


It was the worst I had ever felt after completing a project. Most project ends come with joy and celebration. This one came with regret and beating myself up over my failures. I would have more projects with great stress but thankfully I never did again feel that depression over a completed project. But despite all the stress and turmoil of this project, one thing was ever constant through it all, God had blessed me with sweet friendships, one of which being Kevin. Before I shut my eyes that Thursday night he messaged me asking me if I was happy to finally being done with the project, my response I can't remember, his comment I will never forget, "just what you have to look forward to the next three years :) but I'll be there to help you, as much as you need me to :D"

I was blessed at OU.


Friday I blissfully went through the day thinking of Saturday. Because Saturday brought the Phi Lamb formal, and with that brought M and his father, and the two together brought the first time Kevin and other friends would finally meet M.


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6 comments:

  1. Wow-zah, that's quite a project! (It's look really impressive though - I did technical drawing at school and never had to do anything that detailed, but I love the look of black ink on crisp white paper!)
    And it's so sweet how people pulled up beside you :)

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  2. Oh man. I've always been curious about interior design, but this makes me glad i stuck with journalism. Can't say I ever spent a night like that writing an article!

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  3. Oh man, I know this site all too well! The stress of design school was real...so much drawing, cutting and pasting!

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  4. I always wondered what went into that career! I think I'll stick with teaching :)

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  5. Your project looks so impressive! I am loving reading this story, Kevin and Adam are so similar. Adam was a good friend long before I called him my boyfriend and he did such sweet things for me. He still says that he knew even then that I'd eventually fall for him. Tell Kevin I think he is awesome and a sweet guy!

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  6. Is that the concept home project? Ugh, those nights! Hard times can make the best friends!

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