Wednesday, November 7, 2012

For Brides/New Wives

As the months to our wedding closed in, my husband and I began a pre-marital course with the man who would stand on the stage on June 1, 2012 to marry us. It was such a special time to recap on our lives, together, hit issues that were sunk down deep, and be assured that walking into marriage, a forever covenant with each other, was the right path for our lives. Kevin and I prayed long and hard before we even really began to talk about getting married and we felt confident in God's calling on our lives to be united in marriage.. but oh how sweet it was to meet with someone else, outside our tight bond of friends, who got to know us intimately and so too shared the same confidence in God's calling of marriage.

So on June 1, 2012 our college pastor stood on a stage with us, confident in our new marriage, and had us recite our written vows we formed through our experience of the pre-marital course. (check in for our vows on a future Wedding Wednesday post)

From our experience, pre-marital counseling was awesome. We shared, we laughed, we teared up and we talked about things that possibly we might have never thought of. To us, it was vital. We planned on attending pre-marital counseling since the moment of our engagement. If you're about to get married, we'd urge you to consider doing a pre-marital course to walk you up into your marriage and to give you a greater peace about where God is leading you in your new life together.

From past regrets and pains to children and parenting and even how you expect the home to be cleaned, so many subjects are talked about in pre-marital counseling. And one subject that is highly important, and is often hush hush, is that of sexual intimacy. Now, I went back and forth on whether or not to talk about such a personal aspect of life but here I am. Don't worry I'm not going to turn into a marriage sex blog. That's not me. Plus my identity is far from hidden at this point and I don't think there's anyway I'd share that kind of personal business here. I mean come one people, my mom reads this...heck my inlaws read this.. let's be real, .I don't even know who all reads this.  However, in addition to HIGHLY recommending pre-marital counseling  I also wanted to simply provide some resources for some of you prepping for marriage, and maybe even those of you who are newly married or married for a while. My husband and I were careful in where we turned to for information on this subject and found these resources to be helpful, and God honoring.

Mark 10: 7-9
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no long two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

Holy, Hot and Humorous: a blog straight up answering all questions of marriage and sexual intimacy, plus this lady is hysterical and I learn/laugh every time I read her posts.

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: a blog addressing a woman's life through marriage and being a mother.

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: a book authored by the woman who writes To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, GREAT BOOK! My husband and I actually started reading this on our honeymoon together even though it's written for a female. We highly recommend it.

The Generous Husband and The Generous Wife: two blogs written by a husband and wife team speaking to the married peoples about all issues of sexual intimacy and marriage ups/downs.

The Marriage Bed: A website created to educate about sex and intimacy from a Christian perspective.

Ultimately, this is a subject you need to communicate with your fiance, shortly before marriage, honestly and openly about. It's an aspect of marriage, plain and simple. So to sum up, meet and do a pre-marital course with the person that will marry you,  be willing to be open/honest though that course about all subjects, and know that I am not an expert on this subject nor am I a marriage counselor AND I will not turn into one of the blogs I just shared with you (promise) AND you can safely return tomorrow to find silly pictures and crafting.

In fact, here's a silly picture to finish off this post:


  1. We also did several sessions of pre-martial counseling with our minister and it was such a great experience for us. It really helped open our hearts to one another and be prepared for our marriage.

  2. Our premarital with our rabbi was amazing and I'm so glad we did it! Good post!

  3. Veronica! Thanks for sharing these links -- I agree that it is SUCH an important topic to talk about. P.S. Did we already establish the fact that we got married on the same weekend?! My wedding date was June 2nd :) Such a great time to be married!!

  4. I loved our premarital classes! Thanks for sharing the links. I have read the good girls guide and it is really good!!

  5. Hello! New to your blog from the link up.

    Sounds like a great experience you had!

  6. Marriage counseling was huge for us too! I'm so thankful we discussed all of those hard topics, and even talked about sex, as awkward as it was at the time. :) It's just good to have advice and guidance from an older man of God who has been through all of it and can share his experiences. Enjoyed reading! :)

  7. I love this post! Thanks for sharing those great blogs, too!

  8. what a great post. So glad you started your life together in such an open and beautiful way.

    Happily following you now from the "friends" hop. I'd so love it if you'd join me at where we're riding the wave of life together, one adventure at a time.

    I wanted to personally invite you too to join me and our beautiful team for An Aloha Affair-- it's a new sort of way of being/ growing together in a more meaningful way and we're truly committed to you having a great experience-- I hope you'll join us... save ya a spot?...


  9. Love this! Sometimes people take getting married as a hobby and don't put a lot of thought into it. Thanks for linking up!

    - Brin


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